For months now, like about five months I've been in struggle town. And after two years of good mental wellness, it has been tough.
But today, the fog has lifted!
The dark episode started in September, last year. After some weeks, it was evident I needed to meet with my Dr. to discuss my medication. There has been a lot of steps backward, and few steps forward. Eventually, my dose of Effexor, the antidepressant I'm on was doubled. This took the edge off.
Recently my Huz and I were talking, I shared I had two good weeks a month, to be honest, I was fairly confronted that I was only mentally well, two weeks out of the month.
But the real shock came when the Huz revealed he felt I was only well one week out of every month.
Armed with this info, the Huz and I both went to the Dr.
I find it's helpful for him to come with me when I'm not well. Not every time, but sometimes. My perception can be skewed.
Having a wellness advocate, that knows you and sees you daily, can be very helpful in communicating with your Dr.
This most recent appointment at the Dr. he suggested that my mood could be hormone related, and prescribed the Diane Contraceptive Pill.
I didn't love this idea ...
I hadn't been on the pill in over ten years and believed that the pill wasn't for me. However, I value the care my Dr. provides, and I do need to have more than one good week a month!
Seven weeks on, and I've cut the pill. It has been the most hideous, god awful time.
I haven't felt anything for six weeks. No joy, no happiness, no anger, no emotion. For a girl of Irish stock, this is not my natural state.
My emotions are always close to the surface, I laugh with all my body, out loud.
I cry when I'm moved.
I didn't even shed a tear, or feel anything at the dawn service for ANZAC day. Not even upon hearing the Last Post. Always a tear jerker for me.
So in true #DepressionRockStar fashion, I've removed Diane from my daily med list.
I've dropped my dose of Effexor.
When things aren't right the only thing to do is make a change.
I only adjust my meds with the supervision of my Doctor though.
Gosh, I'm so damned happy to say I feel like me again. It's been such a long time, seven months of tweaking meds. It has been a long and hard struggle. But I have made it out the other side.
My stance on Anti-depressants
I'm pro meds. I would not be here without them.
However, I feel very differently about them. I am not feeling like I'm getting the benefit of my medication, which I once did. I almost feel like my body is working against them.
I'm pro medication for mental illness, but I feel like my condition has shifted. For the first time in a very long time, I feel like maybe I may have a chance of getting off anti-depressants.
For the last few weeks, I've been getting back to a cleaner way of eating. I've included red meat in my diet, and I've cut out three sugary cups of tea a day.
So I'm using a concoction of essential oils. I'm amazed at making a few changes over a few weeks has really helped me get back to wellness.
Tell me, what are some changes you have made and responded well to?